IPL -- Behind the scenes

New Delhi: 25th April 2018

Kiran Kumar Grandhi, the GMR Boss called Ricky Ponting to his chambers and “Look Ricky, said things are going nowhere with the Daredevils. I have discussed with my partners and the feeling is, as in football, the coach should take responsibility and ....... ( silent pause). 

“ Mate, that’s football, this is cricket! Remember what I did when things were not going well for Mumbai Indians in the past. I resigned from the captaincy and also dropped myself from the team”, howled Ponting desperately.

“ You have a point Ricky, send Gautam inside”, said the Boss. A relieved Ponting ran out and informed Gautam Gambhir.

Gautam walked in, his face morose as always. Boss  "Let me come to the point straight. How would you rate yourself as captain and batsman”? ( Being appraisal season, Boss was in the same mood) said 

Gautam mumbled : “Sir, I would rate my performance Average.”

“ Average my foot, have you analysed your batting average?One solitary win as captain, that too against third-rate Mumbai Indians” bellowed the Boss. He summoned his HR Head inside and asked whether there was any notice period in Gautam’s contract. Sensing the Boss’ mood, HR even without verifying, emphatically said No.

Gambhir became even more morose and whispered “ I will resign”. “ Good”, said the Boss, but issue a statement that this was your own decision and there was no pressure from the franchise. Gambhir came out and announced his resignation.

Mumbai: 25th April 2018

Nita Ambani was having a performance review with Rohit Sharma. “ Heard Gautam resigned as captain”, said Nita.

“ Madam, he had to, with such a poor performance as batsman and captain”

“ Look who’s talking”, said Nita Ambani, raising her shaped eyebrows. “ But madam, all matches we lost were close finishes, we could well have won”, pleaded Rohit Sharma, the MI captain..

“ Listen Rohit, getting close is not enough, you are nowhere near your goals and I don’t see any effort to improve. Your stance is wrong, your bat-swing is not good enough and your field placements and bowling changes, just plain lousy”, cooed Nita but with steel in her voice. “ I am putting you on a Performance Improvement Plan for the next two matches and if I do not see results, well....... you have to do a Gambhir. You may leave now”.

A fuming Rohit comes out swearing” What does this female know about cricket ?” & dials Virat Kohli.

“ Virat listen, I understand this time mid-term transfers are possible. Meri CEO bahut pareshan karti hai. Tere yahaan kuch vacancy hai kya?”

Kohli replied “ Rohit, you would have seen me as captain of India and of RCB. When I lead India, you can see the fire, passion & enthusiasm in my body-language arising out of playing for national pride. Here while playing for RCB, I’m always confused about what my bosses will say if I make a bowling change or field set-up or even if I ask for a change in gloves while batting. You would have seen me on TV these days. As for vacancy, let me check with HR. Are you willing to take a pay-cut?”

That, ladies and gentlemen is franchise cricket or IPL for you!